Wednesday, January 27, 2010


MCF is now SD (sperm donor).

I had to give him a new name for several reasons. The first being I HATE the term baby's daddy" as much as I hate "baby's momma."
Even though he's certainly acting like the stereotypical baby's daddy (more on that in a minute) I can't bring myself to call him that. I should be. I really need to be calling him a BD...but it would be hypocritical of me (no matter how MUCH he acts like one) to call someone something that I don't want to be called and don't believe in.

The second reason (and most important) is that this fool has NOT seen our child in a year. Do you hear me? ONE.WHOLE.YEAR. He has missed the 4th of July, Memorial Day, Father's day, Mother's day, Labor day, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Kwanzaa, It's bad enough his sorry ass missed her birth; but now he insists on not seeing her. He's not even paying child support (not that I REALLY need it, but it would be nice of him to at least attempt to take care of her in one way if he's not going to physically see her).

SD has really gotten under my skin lately. Since our last encounter a few weeks ago...

*our last encounter side note: he was driving down the street in front of my cousin's house the day before Thanksgiving and saw me talking to my cousin and did a u-turn to talk to me. I didn't have MIB with me because I was running errands for my aunt and it was too cold for her to be out. I got in the car with him and asked him about when he was going to come and see MIB and where had he been for the last several months. He had been in Atlanta for a month and didn't bother to call to let me know that he was gone. MIB could have gotten sick or hurt or whatever and he wouldn't have known. As we were talking, I was telling him to give me his new number so that I could be in contact with him. He said that his phone was his "work phone" and that he couldn't give it out (what company do YOU know of that issues out metallic pink blackberries unless it's related to Paris Hilton or something...that with the DIET Dr. Pepper in the car: female. Don't play me for a fool if it's your girl's phone then just tell me. Don't sit there and lie to me talking about it's my "work phone"). Anyway, he wouldn't give me the number and said that I could get his mother's number to contact him (um, if you don't always have your "work phone," then how do you expect your mother to get in contact with you when I needed to call you? Plus, I didn't lay down with your mother, I laid down with YOU). I then gave him my new address and told him to follow me to the house so that he knew where it was at. Of course, he refused at that offer but was QUICK to try to get me to drive to the lake (15 minutes from my house) to have sex in the back of my car.*

...I haven't heard from him, seen him, nothing. And that's what pisses me off. Since MIB was born, I've asked him for ONE thing (a container of formula when I didn't have any money and my car was out of commission) and haven't asked him for anything since. I have been taking care of my child and my mother, paying bills on TWO apartments, and handing out money for gas that I DO NOT have. I've never asked him for shit except for his time. And he's not giving it to our daughter.

I hate that she doesn't know who her father is. That she wouldn't recognize him in a crowd or would feel immediately comfortable with him if he were to come over tomorrow. It's unbelievable to me that he would deny her a relationship with him when he and I had relationships with our fathers. It pisses me off that he values his wants than the needs of our daughter. But it pisses me off more that I have been allowing this.

I've been trying to be the adult in this situation; always trying to keep everything "cool" (shout out to Funtunfunafu) when it came down to discussing any situation that involved MIB. But every time he broke his promise to me I wouldn't say anything or would keep my cool when telling him my disappointment in what he wasn't doing. Now though, I'm tired of being cool...I'm tired of being hot.

I think I need to get a little forceful...a little gully. I need to put aside my political leadership (Funtunfunafu!) aside when it comes to him and start putting MIB's needs even MORE to the forefront. I don't know what to do though or how to do it. But I do know that I'm tired of his bullshit and I'm not going to let him get away with it. I just might even try to get his rights severed. Push for bench warrants for non-payment of child support. Something.

I never wanted to get "the man" involved in our affairs when it came down to our child, but I feel as if he is leaving me no choice. Should I wait for him to show any type of care and/or concern about our child or should I push to have bench warrants issued and sever his right?

1 comment:

  1. don't make me fly out there and take you directly to the courthouse! Yes get all UP in the affairs. Puruse that money. You know my story lady - Mom didn't want to "get the gov in the relationship" but so be it.



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