I seriously thought that my love for her was unconditional until I looked at her in her hospital room bed the other day.
Showing posts with label Nursery Rhymes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nursery Rhymes. Show all posts
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Nursery Rhymes - 2009
I was playing with my daughter the other day and she kept kicking her feet so I decided to recite "This Little Piggy" on her toes. I like that nursery rhyme: short, simple, and to the point.
While I was reciting the nursery rhyme to her, I started to think about how the piggies would be portrayed if it was written in 2009.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy went to market
2009: This little piggy went to the co-op, Trader Joe's, or Whole Foods.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy came home.
2009: This little piggy couldn't afford the prices at the co-op, Whole Foods, or Trader Joe's; so s/he went home to get their Aldi's bags to go shopping there.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy had roast beef.
2009: This little piggy has PETA at his/her door for eating the roast beef and is picketing his/her house because of it. S/he is currently barricaded inside of his/her house.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy had none.
2009: This little piggy is a strict vegan and is one of the protesters at the roast beef little piggy's house. S/he is carrying a calf with a sign saying: "I don't want to grow up to be placed in between two pieces of bread dipped in au jus."
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy cried "wee wee wee" all the way home.
2009: This little piggy is currently at his/her lawyer's office filing suit against the other little piggies because of this statement. S/he is suing them for libel and emotional distress. "Wee wee wee" piggy's statement: "I am offended by the statement made by the other piggies. I was not recorded or even seen saying 'wee wee wee' by the other piggies or any other party. I find it repulsive and offensive that they would even make such outrageous lies about how I live my life and how I decide to act while going home. This is an outrageous accusation and I will not let them get away with it."
This is not an advertisement for Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Also, this is not intended to offend anyone that is vegan, a meat eater, PETA supporters, or lawyers.
While I was reciting the nursery rhyme to her, I started to think about how the piggies would be portrayed if it was written in 2009.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy went to market
2009: This little piggy went to the co-op, Trader Joe's, or Whole Foods.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy came home.
2009: This little piggy couldn't afford the prices at the co-op, Whole Foods, or Trader Joe's; so s/he went home to get their Aldi's bags to go shopping there.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy had roast beef.
2009: This little piggy has PETA at his/her door for eating the roast beef and is picketing his/her house because of it. S/he is currently barricaded inside of his/her house.
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy had none.
2009: This little piggy is a strict vegan and is one of the protesters at the roast beef little piggy's house. S/he is carrying a calf with a sign saying: "I don't want to grow up to be placed in between two pieces of bread dipped in au jus."
Nursery Rhyme: This little piggy cried "wee wee wee" all the way home.
2009: This little piggy is currently at his/her lawyer's office filing suit against the other little piggies because of this statement. S/he is suing them for libel and emotional distress. "Wee wee wee" piggy's statement: "I am offended by the statement made by the other piggies. I was not recorded or even seen saying 'wee wee wee' by the other piggies or any other party. I find it repulsive and offensive that they would even make such outrageous lies about how I live my life and how I decide to act while going home. This is an outrageous accusation and I will not let them get away with it."
This is not an advertisement for Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Also, this is not intended to offend anyone that is vegan, a meat eater, PETA supporters, or lawyers.
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