So last week I did Family Friday, this week it's Mommy Monday.
This is the second draft of my entry. I started to write about this local coffee shop that I like to frequent but I thought that it was more important to detail WHY mommies need time to themselves.
Mommy Monday was a thought of mine after Family Friday to give YCM's ideas on what they can do to spend quality time with their babies (while on a limited time budget) and things they can do when they are spending quality time by themselves.
But I believe that the why is the foundation to the what.
I usually work about 40-50 hours a week, commute 5-8 hours a week (depending on construction and what time I leave work), run errands, take care of MIB and my mother, cook, clean, help take care of other family members, do laundry, work on my writing, work on my "project," and deal with my sperm donor. Everyday. Just like the rest of the YCM's that (hopefully) visit this site. And like the rest of y'all the only time I get to myself is when I go "read" (aka sit on the throne) or take a shower. And dammit I need more time than that and it needs to be more meaningful than something that I HAVE to do everyday.
Since MIB had her surgery and I've been staying home to take care of her, I have had even LESS time to myself that I had when I was driving an hour plus to work everyday. Now I REALLY don't have anytime because of her needs, my mother's needs, and some of the other things that I listed that I have to do everyday. And because of this I am SPENT. I'm not going to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning, am still getting up at 6 or 7 in the morning, am not able to take a nap, and can't stay caught up with my housework to save my life (despite being home almost all day).
That revelation of how little time I have made me realize that I need to take time for myself and I cannot be a damned superwoman. I saw on my cousin's Facebook status that she's a superwoman look at the 'S' on her chest and I'm looking at that like "well hell that ain't me at all." And I'm not ashamed to admit it either.
I shouldn't have to be everything, others shouldn't expect everything from me, and I need to know when to leave it all alone. When you go to work, you expect a little bit of vacation time and cannot wait for that time away from your job to reboot, regroup, and recharge. Many believe that being a mother is a 25/8/366 job so why shouldn't we expect a couple of vacation days? At least a couple of vacation hours?
I don't need to be burnt out, I cannot afford to be burnt out because I do have people that depend on me and what I do for them. But in order for me to stay on the right track, I do have to take a few vacation hours to be by myself, to get away from my "job," and to relax a little bit. Even if it's for an hour...hell if I could get a weekend I'd really be getting into something.
I don't want to lose my mind. I don't want to be the YCM that snaps out for no reason at her child. Or the YCM that ignores her baby because she needs me and I am sick of being needed for something. I want and need to be there for her 1000% percent and if taking 1% of my time to be with me is what I need to give it to her then so be it.
So to all of you YCMs (married, single, in a relationship, whatever) I encourage you to stop being superwoman, stop being the fabulous YCM that you already are, and just be YOU. Make a plan to be you, find someone to send the little ones to, make arrangements/appointments, and give yourself a reprieve.
You and your little ones will thank you in the morning.