Saturday, January 22, 2011


I guess I'm in a posting mood tonight. 

Friday morning I was at work and my mother called me at about 9.  She told me that she had some bad news.
"What? What's wrong?"
I'm thinking it's something wrong with MIB.
"The found Deidre dead."
"Wait wha?  What do you mean they found her dead?  No momma no." Tears start welling up.
"Yeah they found her this morning.  I talked to your uncle and he said that they brought him out in handcuffs with his wrist slit.  I guess he was trying to kill himself and then they brought her out in a body bag."
"Momma no..." I'm really crying now.
"Are you going to be OK?" I hope to get this kind of calm during tragedy.
"Um yeah I'm gonna come home soon."

I got up and told my boss that I was going to go home and what had happened to Deidre.  She said that I should leave now but I told her that I couldn't because my hands were shaking too much and I just wasn't in any shape to be driving.  I went to the ladies room and sat down and the couch and I started having an asthma attack.  The below zero weather with the shock of the news triggered one on.  I got up and went to the nurses' office and they helped me calm down.

While they were trying to console me, I was telling them about what I knew so far.  And then I started to tell them that it shouldn't have been her.

"Not Deidre.  She never messed with anybody.  She's a bit older than me and I didn't know her like I knew cousins my age but she was always cool.  She loved MIB.  She didn't deserve this.  No one deserves to die, but when something like this happens to someone else you can almost understand. It's not right but you can see how it happened. But Deidre? DEIDRE?!  No not her.  Not her."  I'm really ugly crying now.

We're still waiting on details about her death.  At first we thought that she was stabbed to death but now we're hearing she was beaten to death and stories and rumors are going all around and no one knows for sure what happened's fucking hard. 

I miss Deidre.  She was good to come over, drink, talk shit, love...she was family.  I wish I knew her better than what I did.  I wish I had spent more time with her than what I did.  I'm glad MIB was able to meet her.  Deidre was one of the good ones. 

She didn't deserve this.  God my soul hurts for her and her family.  One day here, next day not.  Just...damn Deidre.

RIP Deidre Ann Kelly

We love you and we miss you.  One of the good ones.

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