To tell the truth, I almost didn't post anything today. Especially after yesterday's rant regarding SD and his text messages to me Sunday morning. But instead of not posting and being irritated, I decided to learn from that and make it into a Mommy Monday.
Instead of New Year's Resolutions, I decided to make New Life Solutions because they are continuously reflective and changing...for the better of course. And after yesterday's episode, I honestly need to make a NLS. Immediately.
I haven't written in my journal in ages. And in ages I mean over two years and I used to be a serial journaler (is that a word? If not, it's the English language we make up words all the time) back in the day; sometimes writing four times in one day. And some can consider blogging a journal entry, but at the end of the day there are some things that you are afraid to tell others...and yourself.
Instead of pouring out EVERYTHING to you all I am going to keep a little bit to myself and do some internal reflection and honestly express feelings in order to create change. Not that I'm lying to y'all because believe me what I write is the truth. But, there are somethings that are so internalized and so painfully private that, in my opinion, can only be written, dealt with, and manifested into positivity in privacy.
Journaling is a way for me to express those feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc., without hearing backlash from others, embarrassing myself, or becoming completely vulnerable. It gives me a chance to really free myself from all the nonsense that I have going on in my head that others wouldn't understand. And to tell the truth, there are things some of y'all don't need to understand.
So as part of my Mommy Mondays and NLS, I propose that you all take an hour to express your innermost thoughts, cleanse yourself of them, and then reflect on older thoughts. Read last week's entry and see how you feel about that after you've allowed yourself some time to step away from it and look at it with fresh and older eyes. Your eyes may only be a week old, but a lot can happen in a week.
Tonight, when the baby is sleep or you get a moment to relax in the tub or while your MIB is in their room playing take that time write about your life, reflect on your life, and change your life. NLS.
So let it be written.
So let it be done.