Thursday, January 13, 2011

Lessons "The Game" taught me

Just like damn near every other Black person in the US (and parts of the Caribbean and some European locations once it was uploaded online) I watched "The Game" on BET Tuesday night.  The hype (despite my lack of interest in it after it was cancelled the first time) made me want to watch the season premiere.  Hell I NEEDED to watch the season premiere.  Girl Melanie? Derwin? Janae? DJ?!

Yes. Girl Melanie was out of order when she swabbed DJ's cheek for a paternity test.  And she was gully when she told Derwin the way that she did about his paternity.  And Derwin was so ridiculously hurt by the truth. And Janae was offended by him questioning her.  And Girl Melanie was feeling like a fool when DJ turned out to REALLY be Derwin's. 

Damn.  That was a lot in that one hour show on Tuesday.  But despite the entertaining value of "The Game"s season premiere, there was a little bit of knowledge hidden in between the overacting, underacting, and Tasha Mack's wine flavored Black and Mild:

- Get the paternity test the minute the child comes out of the womb - Don't delay verification of the child's paternity.  As we saw on "The Game," Derwin didn't take a test, Janae didn't offer the test, and Girl Melanie did it in the worst way possible: hook up style.  Girl Melanie, do not ever get a intern to do the work of a lab. Damn, you could have at least called Maury.  But seriously, it's best to get it over with so that the father/possible father has no bad feelings towards you, won't treat the child standoffish while always thinking in the back of his head if the child is his or not, or mistreating the child because of what might be.  Take the test.  Get the results. And, in real life, DON'T go to Maury.  Folks who go on Maury to get paternity results are an embarrassment.  To themselves.  And to the world.

- Build a relationship with step mom and father - The way Janae, Derwin, and Girl Melanie interacted at the photo shoot during the opening of "The Game" was television gold, in my opinion.  I mean they were cordial to each other (even after Girl Melanie tried to go off on her during the last season) and really interacted well.  I think that's an ideal relationship because they are able to discuss the future of the child without acting like fools and the child is exposed to an adult, functioning, normal familial relationship.  I was really impressed and if I get with someone with a child and I become a step mother I need to have a working relationship with the mom.  It only makes sense and adds support and weight to "the village" mentality.  And, it keeps folks from getting their asses kicked if the step parent does something out of pocket to the step child.

- Don't ever come between a man and his child. - I can sort of understand Girl Melanie's need to find out the truth about DJ, especially considering the fact that they didn't have a paternity test taken right after DJ's birth.  But coming between a man and his child, a child he's knows is his duty to take care of (and he's not trying to get Brownie points to do so), is messed up.  I mean it's just messed up.  A man's seed is his guarantee of bloodline continuity.  It's one of, if not the most important things a man does in his life.  And he will get rid of you for trying to mess up their relationship.  Girl Melanie was careless and heartless when she did that and had no concern for DJ whatsoever when she told Derwin.  YCM's and SYCMs (Step Your Child's Mother) should know that a man's legacy is nothing to play with.  Don't do it. Even if the kid is bad as hell. 

- Find a cousin or best friend's sister to do your child's hair.  Or keep them out of hairstyles you know you have no business doing. - "The Game" has a serious budget for hair...well maybe semi-serious.  The point I'm trying to make here is that everyone else was lined up, shaved up, SCurled up, juice and berried up, lacefronted up, and Kelly'ed up (Duran Duran'ed up?).  But little DJ's cornrows were ATROCIOUS.  I mean Janae needs my 10 WW up her tail for that.  Now me,I can't do hair.  Well let me take that back: I have three signature styles that I do for MIB.  Box braids for beads, puffs, and two strand twists.  That's it.  The more intricate, stylish, difficult hairstyles I leave to my cousin Kim because I have no skills.  And more importantly I recognize lack of said braiding skills.  Because I refuse to let MIB go out in the world looking like who knows what.  If I can get my hair did (I'm looking at you ALL Janae, Derwin, and Girl Melanie) then my baby's hair can be did too.

So those were the lessons learned while watching "The Game" earlier this week and now it's your turn to share the knowledge "The Game" dropped on you...

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