Sunday, January 9, 2011

Sperm Donor...This Blog's for you!

So this morning I got a text from SD telling me and my mom to stop slandering his name.  Hmm..that's funny because I don't know anyone who knows you.  But, if I AM saying something to someone that knows you then maybe I'm telling the truth.

Let's go over some logistical information shall we?  I haven't talked to SD in over three months and had not had a contact number for him at all.  I know where his sister stays and have his mother's number but tell me this: Why in the HELL should I have to go through your family to get in contact with you? Anyway, when he does get into contact with me, he calls me restricted, doesn't give up a contact number and always asks for some ass.  Then, we won't hear from him for another two to four months.  SD: Am I getting this right? Because the next time you call or text I want to make sure what I'm saying is accurate.

So his text this morning states that mother and I have been slandering his name.  We don't know anybody that knows you to slander your name.  So that got me to thinking: what if he reads YCM? Do you think?  Let me get my Google/FB/Twitter CSI on and assume that he could be estalking my FB page.  It's possible...because that's the only way he could know that I'm saying anything about him and what he is or isn't doing.  And, he name has NEVER been mentioned.  His, mine, MIB...never mentioned.  But my government name is on my FB so I'm going to assume that's where he could have gotten it from.  But he won't tell me exactly what it is.

Why not?  If you are accusing me of doing something then I have every right to know what I'm being accused of.  That's how it works in the court of law know.  You.know.  So it's only fair that you give me that information...because I can only make assumptions.  I have no idea as to what you are talking about.  Did he give me that info?  No.  Did he try to have a discussion about whatever?  Yeah, right.  Instead, he told me to "stop playin stupid," "lose [his] damn number," and that he doesn't "have time for drama believe that."  Accurate so far SD?

So, I went IN on him this morning.  But before I tell you that, let me preface it with this: I hate confrontation.  I really do.  Arguments, fussing, texting wars...all of it I cannot stand.  I'm a peacemaker by nature (Virgo) but once I do reach my limit,  And that's what happened this morning. 

I told him that I had no problem owning up to what I said and I wasn't scared to admit it.  Then I proceeded to tell him about how he talked about what he COULD have done instead of doing it.  I'm the one doing all of the work with MIB (taking her to physical therapy, doctor's appointments, potty training her, working to feed, clothe, and shelter her, helping her walk after surgery, everything) and he's done little of nothing to help me.  Now he did come to the hospital after her first surgery and helped me get everything in the car and home so I will admit to that.  But afterwards, it was a long while before I was able to talk to him and I think he maybe saw her one or two more times.  Other than that, the rest of the labor and legwork was on my hands. 

I then proceeded to tell him that just because we have nothing to do with each other that doesn't mean that it should interfere with him being her father.  Are you going to let her suffer?  It's bullshit and I will and have called him on it.  And while I'm at it, I'm assuming that what I supposedly said (because remember y'all I have NO IDEA as to what I supposedly said, what my mother supposedly said, and who said it to him) it must have struck a nerve because if it didn't he wouldn't have been so defensive (remember he was the one who said he could be a better father and recognized it.  Why get mad if you realize the truth?). 

So this is slander.  Me telling my story about what goes on in me and MIB's life with and without him and what he does.  This isn't heresy. This isn't fiction.  This is real life.  This is the real world (cue MTV).  After all of the holidays and birthdays that you've missed and now I'M the bad guy for saying what happened?  Yeah whatever.  And more importantly I'm sick of tiptoeing around you and your feelings to try to make our relationship as parents (and nothing more) functional, cordial, and as normal as possible for MIB.  But, you SD want to text me at 8:46 in the morning about some ridiculous stuff that you said yourself is true instead of coming to see your child. 

I'm not going to be a bitch.  I refuse to because it's not in my nature (for the most part).  But I am not going to sit down and allow myself to be the bad guy because your feelings are hurt about some shit that YOU aren't doing anydamnway (did y'all like that country slang? I did).

So after the texting went on he called me, and told me that I needed to lose his number, go through familial third parties to get information about MIB to him, and (oh and this is the kicker) that this WHOLE conversation was about me.  Oh really?  Well since you think it is all about me we can do that:  I've been giving my 100% and your 100%  since day ONE and asked you for TWO things for her and only got one.  I've been getting up at four am to go to work so I can get my 8 hours in so I could leave at 1 to make sure she's at her doctor's appointments on time or taking vacation days to get her to those appointments.  I'm the one who wakes up at 3 am when she cries out in pain and I have to go rub her hips and give her "big girl pills" so that she can rest easily throughout the rest of the night.  I'm the one what carried her when she was in her cast back and forth to her bed, wheelchair, living room, my room, and her Nani's room.  I'm the one who has to watch her crawl on the floor because she's on so much pain and can't walk.  So there...that's how it's about me. 

You say I slander you, you say I'm telling lies.  Tell me what part of this game is a lie? 

And in the words of the infamous Antoine Dodson: Run and tell that.


  1. I hate to hear anyone called a sperm donor, but sometimes when the shoe fits........

  2. Hey Reggie,

    I hate to have to cal lhim a sperm donor as well but that's how he acts. If all that you did was have sex with me, impregnate me and then sporadically come to visit our child and then tell me to lose his number: then you are a sperm donor.

    I don't believe this to be ALL men, but this one definitely. And I'm at the point now: what do I do? What do I say? I just don't know. The only thing I do know how to do is take care of my child.

    Thank's for dropping by.


  3. It's sad when they can't put on their big boy pants and step up to act like adults.

    Maybe it's the mommy in me but how can these men act like there isn't a part of them out there in the world hurting somewhere?

    It boggles my mind, really.

  4. What Ive learned is that you cant apply your common sense to other people. It will only confuse you! Some people really aint shit on the inside. tough to believe but its true

  5. mistermamasir,
    It boggles my mind too. i don't understand why it's so freakin' hard for someone to take responsibility for their own seed. I've been patient and above cordial with him (despite lack of involvement and child support payments or any type of support) but I've finally hit my wall and cannot with him anymore. It's like she doesn't exist and he fails to realize that it only hurts her...not me. But then again I guess he is hurting me because anything that hurts MIB hurts me. I'd take on Mike Tyson to make sure that she isn't hurt.

    Sha'ahn gul what's up?! I haven't seen you in ages and I hope you're doing well.
    Like my Momma used to say: common sense ain't so common and he certainly fits this bill. Frankly, I believe MIB is a hell of a lot better off without him. Rather no father than a sorry ass no good father.




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