Sunday, December 2, 2012


It's been 13 years since you've been gone...
A lot has happened since then.  I graduated college, not with the degree you wanted me to get it in but you would've been proud of me anyway because I got a degree in what I wanted and I stuck with it.

I had a daughter...God you would have loved her.  She knows you though.  Call you's so cute.  She even has that wonky eye like you did when she laughs.  MIB wants to meet you so's hard explaining to her that she won't meet you in this lifetime.  But she knows that you love her and are watching over her.

I'm working in finance.  You gave me my middle name so I could always be around money.  I broke though lol...but you did right by my name.

I miss you.

I miss laying my head on your stomach telling you about my day.  And you watching "It's A Wonderful Life" when you got sick and buying me something I really didn't need but you wanted me to have it anyway because you thought you were dying.

You didn't watch it before you died though.

But you did live it with Momma...I'm glad that you two got to talk about the 31 years you knew and were married to each other.  I wish I would've gotten that talk with you...maybe it was for the best.

Even though I'm used to you being gone...there is still an empty part of me with you gone.  Sometimes I sit in the bed and think about you and I just start to cry.  Sometimes I think about you getting in your 7&7, me doing something I had no business doing, and you starting your speech: "Who am I?"

My Daddy...

That wasn't good enough for you, but you were always Daddy.

I wish you were here to be with Momma (who misses you terribly...I'm surprised she's still here after you died).  I wish you were here to be with me and to spoil MIB.  You can't take her to taverns though like you did with's a different world right now.  But I'm sure you two would have found some devilment to get into lol.

I'll never forget that night when you died.  Calling my BFF, family, 911.  Watching them work on you.  Holding you and begging you to come back knowing that wasn't the case.  Momma telling me that even though you were dead you could still hear me.

I don't know if that last part is true...because if you could hear me you'd still be here.

I am glad though that when we had your funeral you had a smile on your face.  That you were at peace.  I hope you're smiling down on me now.

I miss you Daddy...Baba...RIP



  1. I am incredibly touched. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

    1. Thank you...I hope that it helps others in the same situation...

      I loved that man


  2. What a tender, and loving letter to your daddy. I would like to think that he is with you always. It helps me when I think of my baby brother and husband who have gone ahead of me. I find this time of year brings those feelings to the surface. I am SURE he is proud of you and your family.

    1. Thanks Winnie,
      Isn't this the most reflective time when it comes to family that have transitioned? It's gotten easier though...but it still hurts. And thank long as I do by my rules he's proud...


  3. Your post touched my heart and reminded me of my own Daddy who has been gone 8 years now. Yesterday would have been his 74th birthday if he would have lived. I bet your Daddy is watching over you and your family just as mine is watching over me.



    1. Thank you for the hugs...and right back at you ~huggles~

      I know your pain...and they are watching over us...they have to be. And despite whatever nonsense we go thru right now they are always some kind of comfort...

      And happy bday Daddy Kathy! LOL :)




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