Daddy...

It's been 13 years since you've been gone...
A lot has happened since then.  I graduated college, not with the degree you wanted me to get it in but you would've been proud of me anyway because I got a degree in what I wanted and I stuck with it.

I had a daughter...God you would have loved her.  She knows you though.  Call you Pawpaw...it's so cute.  She even has that wonky eye like you did when she laughs.  MIB wants to meet you so bad...it's hard explaining to her that she won't meet you in this lifetime.  But she knows that you love her and are watching over her.

I'm working in finance.  You gave me my middle name so I could always be around money.  I broke though lol...but you did right by my name.

I miss you.

I miss laying my head on your stomach telling you about my day.  And you watching "It's A Wonderful Life" when you got sick and buying me something I really didn't need but you wanted me to have it anyway because you thought you were dying.

You didn't watch it before you died though.

But you did live it with Momma...I'm glad that you two got to talk about the 31 years you knew and were married to each other.  I wish I would've gotten that talk with you...maybe it was for the best.

Even though I'm used to you being gone...there is still an empty part of me with you gone.  Sometimes I sit in the bed and think about you and I just start to cry.  Sometimes I think about you getting in your 7&7, me doing something I had no business doing, and you starting your speech: "Who am I?"

My Daddy...

That wasn't good enough for you, but you were always Daddy.

I wish you were here to be with Momma (who misses you terribly...I'm surprised she's still here after you died).  I wish you were here to be with me and to spoil MIB.  You can't take her to taverns though like you did with me...it's a different world right now.  But I'm sure you two would have found some devilment to get into lol.

I'll never forget that night when you died.  Calling my BFF, family, 911.  Watching them work on you.  Holding you and begging you to come back knowing that wasn't the case.  Momma telling me that even though you were dead you could still hear me.

I don't know if that last part is true...because if you could hear me you'd still be here.

I am glad though that when we had your funeral you had a smile on your face.  That you were at peace.  I hope you're smiling down on me now.

I miss you Daddy...Baba...RIP

KMN